I'm taking a break from my usual content to write about a subject close to my heart. So here we go :)
I received a compliment on my twins behavior recently, which is the BEST kind of compliment a parent can receive, Amen?!?! Just when I thought I was failing, someone swoops in with a “your girls are so sweet and say thank you so well!” OMG that is music to my ears, cause at home I am CONSTANTLY reminding them to say thank you. And it made we wonder… why is being thankful so important to me?
Immediately I knew the answer: Infertility.
That painful part of my life made me think about so many things in a whole new way, and I know it’s made me a better mama.
1 | Being Content.
Through all the hard times and trials we faced as a couple before kids, after we had them - I have learned how important it is to say “this is enough”.
To myself I say: One pregnancy is enough. One day to celebrate both my babies birthdays is enough.
To my kids I say: One cookie is enough. A handful of pez is enough. A new baby doll at Christmas is enough. The clothes we have in your dresser is enough.
What am amazing truth to know… in a world full on plenty, what we have is enough.
2 | It’s OK to be sad and show it.
As an infertility survivor I have had MY SHARE of sad days. More than I’d like to count. However, when my kids are losing it because of something I perceive to be “small” (tripping on the carpet, dropping their last blueberry on the ground then stepping on it) I scoop them up and let them cry. As they are learning to process their emotions, I want them to know and accept that there will be sad days here on this earth, but there is also comfort and hugs and your sissy bringing you your stuffed kitty because you’re crying.
3 | Standing is overrated.
There is someone who knows exactly what you’re going through and He understands. Go to him in prayer. We prayed all throughout our infertility journey, and we do not hide prayer from our kids, even if they don’t understand what we’re doing quite yet.
4 | Sometimes, our plans fail.
Failure. It hurts to even think about all the fails we had during our journey. HOWEVER! We did not fail. Yes, we did achieve pregnancy and birth, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Our marriage survived the incredible stresses of treatment. My friendships grew. My faith increased. And I want to teach my kids that sometimes plan A crashes and burns. Then we move on to plan B. Then C. But we always try, and never give up.
5 | Being Thankful.
You will always have trials and hard days. It’s part of being human. But we can decide how it affects our daily lives. I think the best way to keep your head above water is to be thankful. It might be hard to pinpoint exactly what you are thankful for some days, but you can start by thinking about what you do have, and not what you don’t.
We’re trying to teach our kids this, too. ”I know your sister has a duck and you want it, but you have this bunny. And he is fluffy and wonderful and let’s thank Granberry (that’s my mom’s grandma name) for giving this to you!” and then she usually yells THANK YOU GRANBERRY even though granberry is not visiting that weekend, lol.
The amazing silver lining in infertility is it grew me as a person and this makes me a better mama. Am I thankful I went through it? I wouldn’t go that far. If I could have my kids and not do all the needles and surgeries and hormones, I would have. But I wouldn’t change the life we have now and the incredible ways God has blessed my heart and my home.
Praying for you INCREDIBLE BLESSINGS on whatever journey you are on,